Hi, I’m Codruța, and I love to write!
Okay, I’ll admit, that line always sounded better in my head than it does out loud. But I love saying it: I love writing because it’s who I am. Since discovering the transformative power of words, my life has taken a wild turn, filled with inspiration and hope.
I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, since I first learned to form letters on a page. But it took me twenty-eight years to truly understand that writing is my thing. It took an aggressive illness to bring me face-to-face with death for me to recognize the fire burning deep within my heart.
There wasn’t any other way to get here.
I would not be here today if it weren’t for cancer knocking me down for so many years, so many nights, so many days…
Disease, at its core, is a cruel trickster. It brings despair and fear, obsession, and twisted delusions. For me, my illness was unimaginable and filled with suffering. But I was used to suffering; it was familiar territory. However, when the diagnosis was spelled out on the hematology ward’s medical report, my soul wept for its suffering. In that cold hallway, covered only by a thin blanket, immobilized in a wheelchair, my life began a race against time, against myself. I was fighting myself, and I needed to emerge victorious. I needed to find myself, for myself, to help myself. I was condemned to death, and I had to pull myself out of the darkness to taste life truly. This journey, filled with resilience, has made me feel empowered and strong.
I conquered death then because I wasn’t ready to die at 24. It took seven years to win, but I did, and now I’m more fulfilled than ever.
I’m different now, more whole than I’ve ever been.
I feel the thrill of life in my palms—blood courses through my veins. Blindfolded, with eyes closed, my soul sees life.
Being whole, I dedicate my existence to my architecture, the essence that nourishes me, and the passion that makes me revel in the most extravagant emotions. My life is a celebration of art through words, a blend of emotions captured by the power of my inner spirit but projected through the only identity that helped me overcome everything – love! Love for myself, love for life, love for death, love in all its forms, both bitter and sweet. Love has the same power, both in its presence and its absence.
I’ve always chosen love because darkness spreads its wings when you select anything else, and the light only flickers.
I wrote a book about this: Light and Darkness, myself, and Cancer. I personalized it and gave it life. It was beautiful, and I needed to do it. I titled it “in cancer memoriam.” The book is my promise to Cancer: “I promise never to forget you!”
It was an unusual journey, but it was worth it.
Now, I’m happy because I’m where I need to be. I write that I love myself and others and dedicate myself daily to my inner needs. Sometimes, I need to be pampered, and other times, I need to be a femme fatale, but every time, I need to be Codruța and write.
Somehow, with the November full moon, I realized this: I am everything I am through the words I write; if I don’t write, there’s not much left of me. It isn’t apparent, even to me, but I love to write. I love words and revel in their magic.
The creative magic of words that give life to intentions written by candlelight…
